


Lockdown

by Luxi_Storyteller



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 05:38:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19289263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luxi_Storyteller/pseuds/Luxi_Storyteller
Summary: Real shit for a real word. Starts out bad. Probably will get a lot worse and I'm only kind of sorry.Girl is shot by ex in school bathroom. Girl's mother is outside of school coming to get her daughter so that she can send her to be fixed. Girl's girlfriend is freaking out over not getting any answers from girl. Girlfriend's foster mom is worried about getting home to wife as she waits in her own classroom with her students.





	Lockdown

-Paige-

“I love you” doesn’t make sense when it’s said at the same time the gun is pointed at you. 

His lips form words that can’t compute when the black hole about to suck you away is in your face. No words but the ones in your head comparing the shape around the barrel to every plastic gun you’ve seen trying to determine if this one is real. 

You decide that its just a the stupid black hole that you blow off. The plastic gun you turn your back to because you have a test and you’re already late. The bullet that smashes you forward, until the earth and the metal attempt to crush the air from within you. A second pop that rings in your ears as you wonder why you can’t feel it too.

They say you think about the ones you’ll miss as you prepare for finality. You see the white light where the good moments play for you to remember in the last few seconds of being that this time that you are you was a good time.

It’s a lie. 

There is no reel or white light. Just the cold tile against your face and the final bell telling you that you’re late for a final you’re not going to take. 

You lay there and wonder where he went. Consider why he isn’t leaving through the door he never should have followed you in. Then you understand that none of that matters. 

Things that matter, you learn actually don’t. But you think about them and catalog them. The answers to the AP Lang exam in your bag have no merit when you can’t get up to take the test. Eyeliner drawn on evenly means nothing as it slides down your cheeks and proves waterproof does not count tears. Sweet sixteen party colors are pointless when your body will be found on the floor of the girls bathroom with room 1208’s bathroom pass still in your hand. College applications that didn’t matter as the crimson ink spreading around you marks the final edits of your short biography. 

You learn to late that the things don’t matter. You learn is as you see the phone in your hand and decide on who to send the message to. Decide who needs to know that you love them the most. The mother that will hate you because now she will find out that you are the type of person she can’t stand. Or the girl that kissed you after she asked because your body was yours and not just a thing that she could possess.

When the phone opens and you can’t see the screen clearly, you know that the girl will know that you didn’t want it to end like this. You know that if there is time she will be the next message, because you need your mom to know that even though you are what she hates, that you love her. 

You think about how you should have told her about the girl. You wish for time you know is not there to tell her the too many things that make you you. There isn’t time to tell her you’re sorry that you couldn’t be the daughter she wanted you to be. There’s isn’t time to tell her that you fell in love and so what it was with a girl. There isn’t time to tell her the reasons he shot you. 

So you tell her the only thing that she needs to know. You tap where you know the letters are, because you used to say them all the time. You used to say them because they taught you to say them in the morning, before you left the house, as a salutation. 

You say the words that you learn in this moment have more meaning than anything else you could tell her, because for once it isn’t just automated. It is for her to recall when you can’t say it on repeat.

_ “I love you.” _


End file.
